I forgot that you can't control falling in love...

yes, yes it has.

i think that life has just been overwhelming the past couple of... weeks? months?
and i just have not had time for this..

so right now ihave the worst cold in the history of colds. it' snot fun
and today was a huuge us history test that i couldn't concentrate on because i was so sick! ew school.





so i just finished reading the sisterhood of the traveling pants 3 and let me just say
READ IT! READ IT RIGHT NOW!
>>>i was crying by page 10. hahah

it's about 4 best friends and their last summer before college.
this is a really hard topic for me. i hate change. and i hate that in a little over a year, we're done with homestead forever. and everyones just gonna move on with their own lives.

as much as i say i hate it here and its boring and most of the people.. suck... this is where i grew up! this is where i feel comfortable and it's gonna be really really really hard to leave.

& it scares me alot. for a number of reasons
1. to lose friends that have been there with me since kindergarten on
2. to leave my family and be dependent on MYSELF for absolutely everything
3. to pick the wrong college
4. or to not get in to the schools i want to get into


IT'S OVERWHELMING! growing up is hard. fun as it is..... it's very hard.








also.. something has happened recently that i never ever thought would happen and i don't know what has gotten into me. that's all i'll say.. leave you in suspense. but just know that i have a lot on my plate so i'm sorry if im CRABBY! cause i probably will be.

in other news:

1. i have none!
have a good day :)

"Let's face it... we've changed. We all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've all gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends diminished, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed -- some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across our face... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to the point that we're not all friends forever.."



I could not have explained my feelings any better than this.
i love you girls.

i'm watching dodgeball on tv. but not the movie dodgeball, real-life dodgeball on the game show network. soo intense.


this weekend was good i guess~ a little bit boring. idk..
when i was younger i looved mequon. but now, im starting to see why everyone hates it.

1)nothing to do.
choices are.. dinner, movie, someoenes house.
not gonna lie, it gets old after 16 years.

2)homestead sucks.
soo much pressure to be an overachiever
boys there are either.. cute but taken, cute but a manwhore, or cute and annoying. or ugly and annoying.
girls there are bitchy and soo mean. gossipy and "plastic" no names.

3)i'm just sick of it and i wanna go to college.

gahh






its about time i branch out and meet people from other schools or else i might go insane.
i miss 7th grade. everything was so simple in 7th grade.


on a lighter note.. allison cut maggie's hair last night. very cute but.....
she tried to give her a little wispy bang thing on the side and it went very wrong.
you have to see it but its just really funny!

and, i made a new friend! cara. she goes to cedarburg and shes very cute! haha

<3

-:-:-underline the ones that apply to you....!!!!

 

01. I have a cell phone
02. I am obsessed with having my shoes match my outfit.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a boy.
05. I love wearing dangly earrings.
06. I am a Gemini.
07. I love someone more than they will ever know.
08. I'm obsessed with dogs. (not obsessed but i really like them)
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I can't live without music.
11. I lived in a different state in the U.S. before.
12. I get an allowance.
13. I want to be in high school forever.
14. I've seen Jason Mraz in person.
15. I get annoyed easily.
16. I eventually want kids.
17. I love to read.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I am addicted to the Disney Channel.
20. I am a girl.
21. I worry a lot.
22. I'm in high school.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake. (not them personally though)
25. I like to swim.
26. My dreams are sometimes weird.
27. One of my best friends is gay.
28. I have way too many purses.
29. I've seen Fight Club at least 45 times.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. I've never fallen asleep during school.
32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
33. It bugs me sometimes when people are really late.
34. I procrastinate.
35. I love autumn.
36. I have too many clothes but nothing to wear.
37. I like to sleep in.
38. I've failed a class in high school.
39. I'm afraid of spiders.
40. I have nail polish on my fingernails or toe nails right now.
41. I've watched the O.C.
42. I HATE what I've done to my hair.
43. I never fight with my parents.
44. I like the beach.
45. I have never had the chicken pox.
46. I'm excited for the future
47. I have family out of state.
48. I can't wait till my birthday
49. I love the show Rich Girls
50. I love my friends.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I have never broken a bone.
54. I'm taking German class.
55. I have a laptop.
56. I love boys that love music.
57. I state the obvious sometimes just to reassure myself.
59. I dance randomly sometimes.
60. I'm a good singer.
61. I sometimes like cleaning my room.
62. I never get jealous.
63. I love cute underwear.
64. I love doing math.
65. I cry when I see homeless people. (well i get sad maybe not exactly cry)
66. I LOVE hugs.
67. I don't like to study for tests.
69. I am too forgiving sometimes.
70. I have my own vehicle.
71. I love high school.

72. I have a lot of under garments.
73. I'm a daddy's girl.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color pink more than the rest. (and purple)
76. I love to sew.
77. I have blue eyes.
78. I like being a passenger in vehicles at nighttime.
79. I play soccer on a team.
80. I become stressed easily.
81. I've never lied.
82. I like comfy sweatpants.
83. Paul Walker is cute.
84. I love the smell of the rain.
85. I am right handed.
86. I hate getting shots.
87. I'm a perfectionist.
88. I've gone mooning.
89. I hate the feeling of failure.
90. I like camping.
91. I like going on rides.
92. I can be quite shy.
94. There's something I will never forget, either because I can't or because I just don't want to.
95. I love looking at pictures.
96. I love music.
97. I do well in school.
98. I get a lot of mail.
99. I like hot tubs.
100. I like to be alone sometimes.

1) Use band names spell your name:

oooo ...

modest mouse
carole king.. shes real i swear
kyle sobczak
enya
nsync
zeplin (led)
incubus
eelhsa nospmis ha.. ha..

2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Nope
3) What song makes you cry? you raise me up, josh groban
4) What song makes you happy? so many! all christmas music... summer lovin, from grease aaand all you need is love from moulin rouge. also, holidae inn
5) What do you like to listen to before bed? i listen to the sound of rain cd


a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5’5”.. and a half
HAIR COLOR: blond mostly
SKIN COLOR: tan
EYE COLOR: bluish greenish grayish
PIERCINGS: just regular ears.
TATTOOS: none


r i g h t . n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: pink polka dot pj pants
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: none. watching the proud family with charlie
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: christmas cookies
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: soo cold.. a little bit of snow
HOW ARE YOU? tired! but in a good mood cause i just got all of my christmas shopping done.. i think


d o. y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: YES ew
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: i bite the skin around my nails.

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: yeah
LIKE TO DRIVE?: soo much!.

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: oprah and friends!

CONDITIONER: aveda something
BOOK: sisterhood of the traveling pants
MAGAZINE: vogue

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: sleep eat and shop! go out to lunch.. see movies.. haha idk im lazy
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: couldn't really pick... thats tough

h a v e . y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: yes
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: no
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: haha ......
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: oh of course
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: ooo
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: no?
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: yes

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: i have.. but my mom said i could so idk if it counts
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: no
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: nope.

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: yeahh
BOYFRIEND: boyfriend what?
GIRLFRIEND: again.. what?

SEXUALITY: Straight! haha
CHILDREN: no
BEEN IN LOVE?: noope


HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: oh of course.. what girl hasnt
BEEN HURT?: yes.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: hmmmmmmm
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: dont think so!..

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yea
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: jessica simpson christmas cd:)
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: CHRISTMAS, snow...mcc, starbucks, chick flicks, shopping, cute boys

WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: ryan cabrera
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: allison, liz, mal, maggie, ashley ...

w h e n / w h a t . w a s . t h e . l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: yesterday because i was so cold at the packer game.. my toes hurt really bad!@ haha
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: aw i wish i could say recently...
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today
THING YOU PURCHASED: sooo many christmas presents.. like an hour ago!
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: friends last night
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: its been a while.. probably shall we dance?

I AM: McKenzie Blair Gardner!

I WANT: a boyfriend. and a new car. but besdies that.. i want everyone to stop gossiping and talking shit about everyone! just let people live their lives! and i also want to take all my friends on a vacation to a private island somewhere because i think we all need it.

I HAVE: a cold right now. and ihave a select few friends that could never be replaced by anything! and i have a cool mom.

I WISH: lying was impossible (liar liar) and i wish school was optional

I HATE: miss errthum...december without snow...and certain bitchy people.

I MISS: sophomore year with the sophomore 6-some.

I FEAR: tornadoes!

I HEAR: my brother chewing extremely loud to annoy me...

I WONDER: oo i wonder so many things... like- what really happens when you die? i wonder who my soulmate is and when ill meet him... i wonder where everyone will end up in 10 years and who i'll stay in touch with... i wonder how gases can mix to form water? i wonder how money is worth so much because it is, after all, just a piece of paper. i have a wild imagination.. i wonder so many things! haha

I REGRET: we won't go there

I LOVE: snow! and christmas and the movie elf. i love coach and everything in that store! i love maggie and allison and liz and mal and of course my cowgirl! and i love my mom and my little brother charlie.. i love my dog. i love so many things! yikes

I ACHE: my head. ive been sick the past 2 days ick

I AM NOT: an athlete. haha i prefer shopping......

I SING: all the time! in the car, in the shower, in the kitchen....?

I CRY: way too much

I AM ALWAYS: thinking about things

I WRITE: too much! for expos, ohh mrs epstien we all hate you

I CONFUSE: im not sure how to answer this... ?

I NEED: chocolate, my room and my girlfriends

I SHOULD: try harder in school, and try to be less moody!

FATHER and MOTHER THINK I AM: an angel haha

GET EMBARRASSED WHEN: people make fun of me even if its jokingly

MAKES ME HAPPY: SNOW! christmas lights... girls nights, ice skating, shopping, romantic comedies.... my dog

life is funny. it can throw you the most unexpected curve... and it just gets a kick out of seeing your reaction. will you freak? will you laugh will you cry... will you notice? in the midst of all the drama in the air, i think it's important that everyone take a second and laugh. because i mean, come on... it is kinda funny.



lately, things have been akward.

i miss the way things used to be but in a way i'm happy with how it is now.


last weekend teddy matt peter eddie liz mal and allison came over. we did absolutely nothing, just sat in my room and laughed and hung out all night long and it was so fun. i've really missed nights like those where it used to be the 6 of us (tmpmma) and the saddest part is that they don't even seem to care. but i guess if we can get together after not talking for a month and just pick it up right where we left off, then we'll be okay.


i've found that highschool kindof sucks. and as much as we want things to stay like they were in the beginning, people change. groups change, looks change, personalities change, interests change... nothing stays the same. sure, it keeps us on our toes but GOD it sucks. i've also found that the ones who DON'T change.... those are the ones worth hanging onto. and i love those ones. <3

i also love my tennis girls. no matter what kind of shitty week i had, a tennis night always cheers me up. goooooo tennis!



and in a shocking new revelation: i'm done! it's over. no more! hooray


i'm gonna go buy a tamagochi today. reehannah told me about hers and it sounds really fun and i'm excited:) i'm also gonna buy the steve miller band cd because....rachel told me it was top-notch. incase anyone cared...

allison just got here and we're gonna watch as many friends episodes as we can in one day! haha wish us luck<3

ashley cannon has inspired me to update. but i'm so tired, so remind me tomorrow :)

Will I get another hug?
Do my tears mean anything to you?
I know you cant explain the things you do.
I guess im glad you let me go,
I got to learn to go with the flow.
Let the waves take me some place brand new,
maybe ill meet some one just like you,
I will love you forever,
but in not going to mope around wishing we were still togehter.
"we would always be friends " you said.
it was hard and took some time to get that in my head...

sometimes i get crabby.
now is one of those times.

it was a good day! really it was.
but then after school, it kinda went downhill. i guess that happens when you have a 7 paragraph paper due and a huge us history test ina few days plus a story that you dont know how to do for journalism and etc etc etc. and then i got a phone call that pissed me off.

well, it didnt piss me off.. it just made me kindof sad and a little bit irritated. idk anyways............life goes on!

ashley cannon makes me happy every day.



i love all my friends. and miss some of my friends. a lot
it's so wierd cause we used to honestly be best friends and now... i see them in the hall and i barely get a glance. it really does make me genuinely sad. but i guess...its part of life. people grow apart and as much as i hate it and as much as it sucks, it's not the end of the world. blah.

"Sometimes bad things just happen. No reason, no purpose. They just occur and we’re left to pick up the pieces the best we can. " -felicity


it's time for me to go watch sex and the city. i watch one episode every single night before i go to sleep. i think it makes me sleep better. and it makes me happier. its just a quality show and i love it :)
anyways, goodnight.

ps, tennis girls.... i'm going crazy without you. i miss my babies! a reunion is way more than needed!!!!!

tomorrow is the weekend!!!
i have to babysit friday night, boo.
BUT saturday: its mollys birthday! AND
IM GOING TO MADISON FOR THE NIGHT WITH MAGGIE!!! madison rules. :)
everyone should experience a night on the madison campus before they graduate. seriously.

and tomorrow is free reading day in english. it makes my whole week better.
AND i get to golf 3 holes in lifetime cause well, basically, im good at golf. yeah right.
im just ready for a good weekend cause the past two have just sucked. ew.

im going to bed right now! soo early but hey, im tired and i hav enothing to do
goodnight i love you all

sooo friday i was grounded. no story there.

saturday, however was quite fun. BEAUTIFUL DAY! ahh my favorite kind.. crisp, fall days .. blue skies.. etc etc. so my mom decides to unground me! :) allison and maggie come over and we go to the park.. maggie has to go to work, me and allison go apple picking, brought culvers to maggie and cassie at work, blah blah blah..

our night was just so bad its not even funny. so we wanted to go see shark tales.. sold out. eddie and matt got us the last 4 tickets but lauren and matt a. ended up coming with us so we didn thave enough. then there were no seats. so we got our money back.. went to matts and played xbox. sidenote: i dominate that basketball game whatever it is. then me lauren maggie and matt were gonna go to a haunted house with her sister and friends. we're driving along, driving along.. then we realize they stop selling tickets at 10 30 and it is now 10 19. it takes 25 minutes to get there. turn around. gahh my curfew was 12 last night and i got home before 11 cause there was nothing to do! but to be honest, i was tired so its no big deal..

thats all. it sucked but i guess it was funny.

if theres one thing i learned from being grounded : how much i love my cell phone and that i should never take advantage of it again. ever. :)

thats all.. goodnight~have a good week!!!!

leave me comments, damnit!

so i love this week!

 

even though i'm grounded, i just .. love it! :)

i hope you do too!! YAY

haha yesterday was by far the worst day ever. forget what i said about all those other bad days, they don't compare. yikes

so i got tp-ed. but they took it way too far liiike...
flour all over my car adn silly string and then saran wrapped it really tight so it was caked on...oh not to mention they put a dead racoon underneath the saran wrap on the hood of my car.. smashed pumpkins all over the driveway.. my mom found bags of shit in my yard.. like honestly, just really mean.

so my mom woke me up at 6 30 to clean it all up. freeeezing. cleaned for an hour, went to the stupid act prep course that was hell. i was starving and cold and i had to take like 5 tests. ew.

then i cam ehome, cleaned up for 2 more hours.. went to the carwash where my hubcap fell off and maggie got into a fight with the guy cause they were being so rude and even then, all the stuff didnt come off and i had white spots all over my car. i cried. haha it was just bad.

so then i went to sleep. for 5 hours. i woke up at 6 and decided hey im not going to homecoming haha i was in a bad mood and it was already 6......nothing to wear, etc. so i didnt go. i went to see wimbledon with my mom. it was really cute then i came home and went to bed. my sleep got interrupted numerous times with several drunken phone calls. i love my friends haha im glad you guys had fun.



anyways~ that was my weekend. it sucked. im glad it's over.
my goal is to have the best week AND weekend ever this week.
now i'm watching extreme makeover home edition its my favorite show

>i just kindof want to go to bed. grr

so basically this has been the shittiest day... in a long time.
and i'm pissed cause all week has been really good and soo much fun and today just ruined the streak. damnit.


dont wanna get too in depth with all my petty little problems but lets just say that homecoming is one big drama fest and should not exist anymore. booo



anyways, to cheer me up i'm gonna recap the last week cause it was fun and it makes me happy:

monday~tennis party and team dinner here then i went with al to michaels to get tye dye shirts but we cou ldnt find them and it was too late to make them so... we made shirts that said "tye dye" creative, right? :)

tuesday~came home and played the sims for soo long.. visited maggie at work and we ate chinese food there.. then she came over for gilmore girls and one tree hill and so did lizzie.

wednesday~all the powderpuff girls dressed up and it was a very very good day! then after school me maggie amy and amanda went to maggies....then to the game....it was a close one girls . no worries next year will be intense! hah>>>then we went to olive garden and target and everyone slept at amandas but my moms a bitch and changed her mind at the last second so i couldnt. thats probably where the bad day started.

today sucked so we won't go there. grr


i'm watching extreme makeover and they made over this guy but now he looks like a female




idk what else to say. talk to you later

i love homecoming now! haha im so pumped...get this:

since all of our guys decided to be fags and ask the sophomores~
we're gonna have our own party.......................


*stretch excursion limo, seats 32 people, downtown for dinner, a bunch of marquette seniors, party party party. i cannot wait. <3



anyways i have to go.. my favorite tennis girls are coming over for a gilmore girls/one tree hill party! yeehaw what a great day :)

i bought the sims 2 and it was really expensive.
and i came home all excited to install and play!
but it doesnt work. i need help.
i've done it like 10 times at least.
it gets like halfway done and then a thing pops up
and it makes you think that it will still work,
but at the end, it says 100% but it doesnt work.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i had a bad day again.

i dont really wanna get into it so i'll leave it at that.

the highlight of my day was tennis. i seriously love those girls so much we just have a lot of fun and theres never a bad mood when you're at tennis practice! >>>> <3

second highlight of the day: liz brought me ben & jerry's! that was nice of her. if you know anything about me it's that ice cream is my favorite and if im ever having a bad day it will make me feel better. always.



and everything will be back to the way that it was...
i wish it was just that easy. :/

first of all.. this is not allowed:

asking someone to homecoming and then taking it back.
don't do that.
especially if it's to one of my friends.
not gonna fly.


second of all..


don't put things in your away message trying to sound cool. especially when you KNOW that you're pissing a certain someone off. also not gonna fly.


third of all..


don't ditch your best friends for losers. that will not make them feel good. so stop!








ahhh i hate seeing my best friend so sad. i hate it i hate it i hate it.
i wish i had the guts to just beat someone up when they make me or one of my friends sad/mad because that's all i want to do right now. but i can't. i'm sorry if i'm sounding annoying or dumb but i just have so much inside of me right now and i need to let it all out. rarr


i love ashley cannon and krystal gardner.
i want to hang out with them soon because i haven't in forever.
that's random.




my brother ben is watching oprah? he's 13. thats odd...............



anyways i love you bye!



oh yeah and this is for you mags..
GO PACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!